New Band Manifesto
I want to start a band, and I want them to win the Turner Prize next year. And the MTV music awards.
They will be very loud and very fast.
They will be angry and bitter and twisted. They want to kill everybody and their stupid iPods and their offensive lack of courtesy. Having won the MTV award for best new band they will then set fire to the podium with lighter fluid and the stubs of their hand-rolled crack-laced cigarettes.
They’ll be dangerous like James Brown was in the 60s, but white and middle class.
They will rock.
They will probably be called something like THE BLACK ANGLE.
Their first song will be called “I Like to Fuck (You in the Ear)”. It will sound like Death’s own freight train rolling out of your speakers.
Scream of feedback, tumultuous speed-metal drum roll, scream of feedback. Repeat to fade.
They will be very loud and very fast.
They will be angry and bitter and twisted. They want to kill everybody and their stupid iPods and their offensive lack of courtesy. Having won the MTV award for best new band they will then set fire to the podium with lighter fluid and the stubs of their hand-rolled crack-laced cigarettes.
They’ll be dangerous like James Brown was in the 60s, but white and middle class.
They will rock.
They will probably be called something like THE BLACK ANGLE.
Their first song will be called “I Like to Fuck (You in the Ear)”. It will sound like Death’s own freight train rolling out of your speakers.
Scream of feedback, tumultuous speed-metal drum roll, scream of feedback. Repeat to fade.
posted by Sookraj at 11:19 am
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