Two Brians

Brian number one, small, slim, snake-hipped. “Just do it” he says. Your father wouldn’t like him, your mother would think he is utterly charming but needs feeding up. He smokes dope in bed. He likes bathing as a sensual experience but isn’t really bothered about being clean. Brian number two claims to have caught him shadow boxing while listening to gangster rap.

Brian number two, wears a suit to work. Sometimes he wears the same suit to the pub. He does something obscure in accounting which even he admits is boring. However, “work is a means to an end right? So long as I can pay for this round and have the time to enjoy a drink then it’s all good, right? Right?” He has a savings account, he has a rough plan to get onto the property ladder. He would rather stay silent than risk being wrong.

If they weren't housemates and best friends I couldn't really imagine them in the same room let alone talking to one another.